Here's A Free Hot Dog!!! 

February 1, 2013

In light of a dwindling fan base after a third consecutive bottom 5 finish, team management of Here's A Free Lesson is hoping a new slogan will bring attendance and revenue into the ballpark; "Here's A Free Hot Dog"! The plan is simple; buy a ticket to any home game at Free Lesson Ballpark, and you'll also receive a free hot dog voucher for the night of the game!!! As Here's A Free Lesson continues to rack up a deficit not only in the standings but on the team finances, management needs to think creatively about how they can fill the seats and bring in the needed income to balance the budget. Can free hot dogs for all be the key to the financial and perhaps overall success of the Free Lesson organization? Here's what team manager S. Lindblom had to say:

"People love hot dogs. You can load them up with onions, tomatoes, pickles, sauerkraut, chili, cheese, bacon, or just keep it simple with ketchup and mustard. There's something for everyone." Certainly the organization is hopeful this will take off in popularity and not flop like the team's annual drafts over the team's four year existence.

There are individuals who are unsure that this is the way to go. Ballpark food manager Albrecht Koch has an issue with Lindblom's hard position of having a "dry" ballpark and believes providing alcoholic beverages would significantly increase revenue and make home games more tolerable for fans. "What is this, a high school sports venue?" asks Koch. "It's ridiculous we don't sell beer to fans!!!". While injuries to spectators and unruly behavior incidents are far below the league average at Free Lesson Ballpark, some would counter that it's less the lack of a fermented beverage and more to do with the fact attendance is so low to begin with. 

Perhaps time will tell if Here's A Free Lesson can avoid further financial ruin with the current plan of giving away hot dogs to fans, although looking at the 2013 projected budget that leaked earlier this week might help predict the future of the organization:

I don't claim to be a financial advisor or whatever (Mrs. Johnson pays the bills at our house...), so I guess I'll have to wait and see if this plan to cut payroll and give away hot dogs can put more runs on the scoreboard and less debt in the bank. In the meantime, I'll certainly be stopping by for a home game to grab a free hot dog and a cold beer I sneak in!!!